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Review:
What is the
meaning of the word "mediocre?" For some, it is a synonym for
"bad." This really isn't the case. Mediocrity isn't bad at all,
it's in fact, quite adequate. A mediocre film can be quite
enjoyable, especially when a really good cast wrestles a lousy
script to the ground.
"Welcome to Collinwood" is a case in point. This is a caper movie.
It was based on an "Big Dean on Madonna Street" an obscure Italian
film that few if any have any knowledge of anymore. It should have
stayed that way.
Cosimo(Luis Guzman) and Toto(Michael Jeter) are two incompetent
crooks. The former gets caught trying to steal a car and is
arrested. While in the pokey, his roommate informs him of a "Bellini,"
slang for a criminal masterpiece.
Now knowing where a few hundred thou are waiting to be picked up
easily, he needs a "Mullinski" who'll take the rap for him and
thus get him out of jail. Cosmo's girlfriend
Rosalind(Patricia Clarkson) tries to arrange this, and the bellini
who's name is Pero(Sam Rockwell), manages to slip out, and soon
there's a whole gang of lowlifes planning on getting the loot.
So we have Piro and his cohorts Basil(Andrew Davoli), Leon(Isaiah
Washington) and Riley(William H. Macy)-all of whom need the money
really bad, trying to figure out how to figure out how to pull off
the job [George Clooney plays their safecracking teacher, but he's
not really all that memorable], expending money and time in the
process. Everything that goes wrong does. This is to be expected,
but each and every twist is expected, there are very few
surprises, and while there are some jokes that work, most don't.
This isn't a bad movie by any means, in fact it's rather
entertaining in spots. But then again, it's mediocre in the
original sense of the word. It's not exactly worth the bucks to
expend the full price for a date, but when it comes out on video,
it's well worth a rental.
Eric Lurio
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