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Review:
 There
was an article in the British magazine “New Scientist” the other
day reporting about a march by thousands of people in support of
animal testing. It saves lives and ALL drugs are derived. It was
interesting to see because fascist organizations like PeTA have
had all the publicity of late, and the reputation of those
hardworking, dedicated and caring people in the pharmaceuticals
industry has been in the toilet for years because some people
think germs have more of a right to live than the people they
infect.
Which brings us to Tim Allen's latest evil film, a remake of
Disney's “The Shaggy Dog.” Allen plays one Dave Douglas an
assistant DA in an affluent California city, where he's in the
midst of prosecuting his daughter Carly's(Zena Grey) social
studies teacher for arson. He allegedly torched a lab run by an
evil conglomerate because they were testing on fluffy bunnies.
They can't have this!!!! Better to have the villains be moronic
Dr. Frankensteins who have stolen an ancient sheepdog from Tibet
to find out why it's three hundred-year-old lama [not to be
confused with llamas, which are a kind of camel, this is a monk]
than genuinely dedicated scientists who want to actually cure
disease and improve life in general, right? It's a kiddie flick
and if we have to have a political message stuffed down the little
one's throats, it's that science is bad and we must protect cute
widdle bunnies at all costs!
Okay, when the evil scientists under dying boss Lance
Strictland(Philip Baker Hall) get the blood samples from the
canine Buddha, they discover that they can't transfer the
immortality gene to…to make the long story short, Buddha dog
becomes contagious, and anyone who gets bitten turns into…it's
sort of like Wolfman-lite… and the Allen's work-obsessed dad, who
doesn't know his son(Spencer Breslin) really hates football and
his daughter wants a tattoo because he's persecuting bunny savers.
Yadda yadda yadda.
Of course the film isn't all bad. Allen's performance during the
transformations are fantastic and Downey is delightfully creepy.
But when they've got the dog with the voiceover, the thing falls
flat entirely. The fifth of the movie where Allen's turning into a
dog are great, but that doesn't mean that the other four fifths
are any good at all. It's just preaching with suger coating. Rent
the Fred MacMurry version instead.
Eric Lurio
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