|
Review:
 The
problem telling the "true story" about ancient myths and legends,
is that something is usually lost. Layers upon layers of
embellishments are added over the years, and as decades of
retelling turn into centuries, the tale changes shape and form
until a canonical version appears which bears little or no
resemblance to anything true.
These are usually the best versions because of centuries of
‘product testing.’
It’s never a good idea to do a TRUE VERSION unless really IS a
true version. In other words, this wasn’t a good idea.
According to many a historian, the real King Arthur was a
Romano-Celtic warrior who fought the Saxons after the Romans left.
Rome had been abandoned by the Romans about the time it had been
initially sacked in 411 AD by the Visigoths
Britian south of Hadrian’s wall was a civilized place that was
as Roman as Italy.
But the Western Empire had been collapsing for years and b y 452,
when the movie is set, the Roman army was a shambles which
couldn’t have stood up to the Barbarian invasions that had been
going on for almost a century.
According to this, the Sarmations had been drafted by the
Romans for hundreds of years and Lancelot(Ioan Gruffudd)
Galahad(Hugh Dancy) and Tristan (Mads Mikkelsen), are not English
knights, but Sarmation draftees about to go home. [Arthur(Clive
Owen), is half British, however]
But of course, the Pope refuses to let them go, wanting our
heroes to go on one last mission, to rescue some Romans living up
north of Hadrian’s wall in Pict-land before the Saxons rape and
murder everybody.
The Picts, who are dressed similar to Native Americans in old
westers, under their leader Merlin (Stephen Dillane), beat up on
the retreating Romans, but don’t kill them, because they too know
that the Saxons, led by the evil as Cerdic(Stellan Skarsgard) are
on their way to destroy civilization as they knew it.
The evil imperialist Romans who need to be rescued have walled
up a bunch of pagans, including Guinevere: Warrior Princess (Kira
Knightley), who soon joins our heroes in a couple of really nifty
battle scenes, which make the movie actually watchable. The rumble
on the icy river is actually rather cool.
The story is far too PC to make it coherent, and the claim as
to being historical is laughable. But then again, the performances
are good and the fights are excellent.
Worth a matinee for sure.
Eric Lurio
|
