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Review:
 Exactly
why did they make this movie? It's one of the least original
serial killer flicks of the decade. Fans of the genre want
something original, and not only is this a remake [the 1974
version sucked too], but manages to screw up every single cliché
it tries to present.
It's a college sorority on Christmas eve, and the
sisters(Michelle Trachtenberg, Lacey Chabert, Mary Elizabeth
Winstead and a few other “retired” child stars) are stuck
without anyplace to go. They and housemother Ms. Mac(Andrea
Martin) bicker while notorious serial killer Billy Lenz(Robert
Mann) escapes the loony bin to reclaim his house. What we don't
know is that he has a sister named Agnes(Dean Friss in drag),
who may be in cahoots with our villain.
The usual happens. People die one after the other, but since
all the characters are one-dimensional cartoons, we don't care
who will get offed or when. This has lots of gore, but not a
single scare.
The reason people go to horror films is to get that jolt when
the monster gets out of nowhere. There should be thrills and
chill and at least one character on the side of the victims we
should be able to root for. This is supposed to be an
entertainment and if it's going to be bad, it should be bad
enough to be funny. There are few things as bad as boring horror
films, and this is boring. The acting is not bad enough, for the
most part, and that's to the determent of the film. The fact
that the gals in the victim pool have so much experience as
child stars make Mann and Friss look horrible by comparison.
The flashbacks don't make much sense, although they may have
been necessary. It might have been better if the killer came out
of nowhere with just a minimum of backstory. Here's there's too
much and it falls flat.
It's clear that Glen Morgan is the main villain here. All his
previous work has been far better than this. I liked the “Final
Destination” films and even the remake of “Willard.” This makes
me want to slap him upside the head.
Hopefully the young ladies will be able to get work in films
with actual merit. Yeech!
Eric Lurio
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