n
a bright, sunny afternoon, Thabiti Bruce Boone, a proud single father,
sat and watched his daughter graduate from high school. A quiet smile
was on his lips and his whole face was lit with a peaceful glow as Kim
walked across the stage to receive her diploma. Afterwards, she threw
her arms around his neck. "Daddy, we did it!" she exclaimed.
Hearing those four simple words, Thabiti began to reflect on all that
went into them, the magnitude of their meaning for the three lives
involved: his mother’s, his own, and his daughter’s. For it was through
meeting and overcoming challenges within these that this former
basketball star became the author, activist, minister, and humanitarian
he is today, a person who is truly making a difference in other people's
lives.
For starters, Thabiti Boone was born to a 13-year-old mother and a
much older father who was immediately brought up on statutory rape
charges. It was only Thabiti’s maternal grandmother, who fought hard in
court to keep him, that prevented Thabiti from becoming an
institutionalized baby.
Early
on, Thabiti loved to play basketball and showed great talent at it. He
was seen as a rising star in his East New York neighborhood. Then one
day when he was twelve, as he played basketball in the park, a friend
rushed over to tell Thabiti that his mom was on the roof of their
housing project, and it looked like she was about to jump. Thabiti ran
home just in time to see her come tumbling down right in front of him.
She broke nearly every bone in her body, but miraculously she lived.
Needless to say, this harrowing experience was a crisis for both
mother and son. Mercifully, however, it left Thabiti’s mother even more
determined that her son have a better life than she’d had. She insisted
that he excel just as much in the classroom as on the basketball court.
As a consequence, not only did Thabiti become a remarkable athlete, he
became an excellent student.
Thabiti graduated high school with honors and a basketball
scholarship from the University of Florida. He was on his way to the
next phase of his promising basketball career.
But during the summer following his freshman year at college, Thabiti
faced yet another challenge. He learned he was about to become a teenage
father.
The young couple considered getting married and raising their baby
together, but it soon became apparent that what they each wanted out of
life just didn’t mesh.
From
the get go, Thabiti was devoted to his daughter Kim. He also became
convinced that the mother’s lifestyle would not provide the best climate
for her upbringing. Against the impassioned pleas of family, friends and
coaches begging him not to throw away his future, he decided to step up
as a father. Says Thabiti:
"I felt my daughter deserved the best chance at life I could give
her. I also wanted to be a better example of fatherhood than what I’d
had and seen. And I wanted to prove you can make mistakes in your life,
but instead of being irresponsible and walking away, you can choose a
different path. I wanted to make a change in myself and in how I would
be perceived in and defined by this society as a Black man."
Thabiti pledged to raise Kim himself – while attending college and
continuing to play basketball. Though she fought him at first, the
mother came to agree that it would be best for Kim to be with him.
So in 1984 when such a thing was unheard of, Thabiti went looking for
a college for his infant daughter and himself. "If you want me as a
basketball player, you've got to take the total package," he would tell
them. They would have to give him an apartment and full scholarships to
cover tuition and everything else Kim and he would need. And this would
all have to be done with the understanding that his daughter came first.
Rochester Institute of Technology came through with the goods.
Thabiti Boone will never forget that Greyhound Bus ride – which
seemed like the longest ride he ever took in his life – that brought his
young daughter and him to Rochester, New York. "There were all the
feelings of extreme love that had me do it in the first place," he
recalls. "But they were matched by feelings of extreme uncertainty, the
stress of not knowing what was going to happen at a place where anything
could go wrong."
And when he got off the bus, loaded down with baby stroller, diapers,
bottles and a new baby, Thabiti stared at Kim and said to himself, "This
is it now: me and my daughter. I am going to step up and meet this
challenge like a true ball player!"
The first thing Thabiti did was map out his plan for classes, study,
basketball practice and games. He got a great deal of assistance from
the female students, including a girlfriend he dated while in college,
who were eager to help take care of Kim while he met his other
responsibilities.
As Kim got a little older, Thabiti began taking her everywhere with
him. "She and I had a ball," he said. "We would study together, go to
basketball practice and to classes together. She was the darling of the
campus; everybody knew her."
During his senior year, Thabiti was also elected President of the
Black Student Union, which, up to that point, had been marginalized as a
club of second-class students. In a single year he transformed it into a
stand-up organization that fought for a budget like all the other
student organizations on campus, a Martin Luther King annual
celebration, and their right to have their own Black Studies Department.
Through this work, Thabiti got a taste of what it feels like to have
a positive impact on people’s lives and to gain people’s respect as a
social activist. It was different from the thrill of success on the
basketball court, but it, too, brought him a tremendous feeling of
fulfillment and self-worth.
During that year, Thabiti also had to make one of the biggest
decisions of his life: Did he want to pursue his NBA dream or continue
raising Kim? He knew very well that in professional sports, you’re
constantly on the road, and about the best you can do as a single parent
is to hire someone to raise your child in your absence. After everything
they’d been through together, was this what he wanted for his little
princess?
Thabiti Boone decided to put fatherhood first. A major reason was,
Kim’s mom had no role in her life. "I gave up my NBA dream because I
felt that was the right thing to do," he said.
And how right he was. Through all the years that followed and all the
challenges Thabiti faced, it was Kim who kept him strong. Whenever he
got a little down or felt like giving up, especially when he fully
realized that basketball was completely over for him, he’d look at his
daughter and feel re-energized. "Children have this innocent strength
about them that if parents pay enough attention, they’ll see that
they’re actually parenting us," Thabiti commented. "Kim taught me
so much about myself and gave me a sense of healing my own background."
It was his commitment to his daughter that enabled Thabiti to
rekindle his love for his mother. And through that love for these two
women, over the years Thabiti has continued to make a difference in the
lives of others, speaking out and responding to issues and concerns that
affect our society, particularly the interests of the Black community,
men, youth and the voiceless who are in need.
Some of Thabiti’s humanitarian activities include adopting schools,
supporting needy families, and providing a year-round sports, academic,
hip hop and mentoring program that reaches over 10,000 students,
particularly Black male youth. He also sponsors a summer camp for over
500 kids, hosts holiday parties at which he gives out clothes and gifts,
and, as an author, donates thousands of dollars worth of books to
promote literacy. Thabiti spends countless hours making public
appearances throughout the country to offer inspiration, and he conducts
an annual Harlem Black Cultural Month trip/luncheon, Behind the Scene NY
Knick trips, a Hip Hop Day, as well as early enrichment and higher
education programs.
One of the things Thabiti finds most satisfying is coaching each
summer for the New York Knicks Summer Basketball Camp for youth. He’s
grateful to do this work because it keeps his love for basketball a part
of his life. Karin Buchholz, Vice President of Community Relations and
Fan Development for the Knicks, said, "Thabiti is a very good coach, and
he has a great way with children. We are thrilled that he's working with
our kids here." She stated, too, that she knows he's done a lot of great
things in the community, and that’s why the Knicks organization supports
him, giving him tickets so he can bring kids in his programs to Knicks
games.
And what happened to Thabiti Boone’s mother and daughter? When he
graduated from college, he presented his diploma as a gift to his
mother. He also assisted her in buying the home in Charlotte, North
Carolina where she lives very happily today. Kim is pursuing her own
dreams at Medgar Evers College.
Thabiti Boone can be reached at www.ThabitiEnterprises.com
